# If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon
# If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away
# If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
# If your favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" stars Bob Packwood or Bill Clinton
# If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson
# If your favorite version of "The Nutcracker" stars Andrew Golata
# If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night
# If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts
# If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon
# If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park
# If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log Black Hermes Togo Leather Birkin Handbag Gold Hardware 6088
Black Hermes Togo Leather Birkin Handbag Silver Hardware 6088
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# If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie
# If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat
# If you use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets
# If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by O.J Simpson
# If your favorite version of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" is sung by the K.K.K. choir - you just might be a RED NECKED Scrooge
# If your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn caricatures with eggnog
# If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin
